#letterstokam

there are plenty things about motherhood that give me anxiety but one that I stress often is worrying that I'll forget all the things I want to tell my son when he grows up. my memory fails me all too often so I created a hashtag on Instagram, #letterstokam, where I can share my words to my baby, but since this is the place I want to keep my deep thoughts and feelings, I'll start keeping those words here as well ❤️📝

2013, before we met✨💫

It's almost magical to be in love with someone you've never met but know so well. Although I anticipate the day we meet, I can't help but want you to stay right where you are... it's the only way I can always be sure you're safe and happy. I loved the thought of you before I knew you. I love every move you make and I can't wait to tell you every day that I love you more than life itself. Already, you complete me. Love, Mama.

June 2013
Dear son of mine, I know you are stubborn already but pushing on my ribs already with 3 months left to grow still is just painful! I'd like to enjoy these last few months please ;) Love, your uncomfortable mama. 

October 4, 2014 🎈🎉

I'm that mom. I'm crying that my tiny brand new baby is #1yearold. I am so proud of everything you are; your spirit, your deep soul, your personality, your heart... you are my definition of happiness and perfection. we made it through your first year in one piece even tho sometimes it felt like we wouldn't. today we will celebrate all that you are and all that is to come on your special day. I love you booey more than life itself. Always, your mama💜

July 2015

every photo I take of you I love because I soak in every little detail of you. I'm so afraid I'll forget these things as you grow up and change because with each stage I fall in love in a new way with you. your hair color & texture, the way it naturally parts and swoops to the right like mine. your tiny hands & curved pinky so perfect along with those hand dimples, I can't get enough. your tiny button nose, little top lip & big bottom lip; so perfectly kissable. I've never loved so completely and deeply in all my life; not even in my dreams❤️✨

October 4, 2015 🎈🎉

as I sit here in awe of you I am speechless and overcome with emotion. you make my life so fulfilling and give the purpose I've always searched for. I was born to be your mama. your soul is wise beyond your years and your spirit is invigorating. our days are long and sometimes hard but at the end of the day when we cuddle to sleep, nothing else matters except you and I in that moment. you are my solitude, my peace of mind. thank you for being the most incredible boy I know and teaching me something new every day! you are so smart it literally blows my mind!! I hope you enjoy your birthday today and know that EVERYDAY I celebrate you. I love you more than life itself booey, happy birthday!!!!

xoxoxo, mama

November 2015

black eye, rosey cheeks, softest snoring... you're so tough but you always show me that you need me. thank you for loving me like you do.❤️

you're unbelievably, breathtakingly gorgeous, my love. I wonder all the time how it's possible that you're THIS perfect!? I'm so lucky to be yours.💜

Thanksgiving day, 2015

thankful isn't a big enough word to describe my feelings for being your mama. this is our first holiday apart and I've been trying to brave face it but now that the day is here, it's awful that I'm working while you're with your daddy. when I dropped you off to him this morning your tears and grip around my neck left my heart in pieces and both of us in tears 💔 I'm sorry that we can't be together 24/7 because I have to work for us and I choose to share you with your daddy because you need each other and he loves you very much. the older you get, I hope it's easier on you (us) when you go to your daddy's. I love you more than life itself and I hope you never forget that❤️🙏🏼🍂

March 17, 2016: 3 days after Nana went to heaven.

my sweet boy, thank you for always being the person who makes me laugh the most and who kisses my tear filled eyes when I'm sad. YOU are the reason I smile. you're heaven sent 💜🙏🏼

April 2016

your light brown hair, your black eyelashes over your almost black-almond eyes, your chubby hands and fingers accented by those perfect dimples on them, your pursed lips stealing my coffee every chance you can, your little voice and the silly voices and faces you make when your personality bursts out... these are the things I want to remember and I hope these photos of you take me back to the moments that they were captured in. you're growing up too fast but I can truly say I enjoy you more than I could have imagined I would. I was born to be your mama, there's no doubt in my mind about that. you're my reason for everything and you keep me sane.❤️

oh sweet boy 😍 your two different eyebrows & your two different ears couldn't be more perfect to me!! thanks to you, I live in love 💚

My sweet boy❤️ "How cool is it that the same God that created Mountains and oceans and galaxies looked at you and thought the world needed one of you too." *its even more perfect of a quote now looking back because you're obsessed with the galaxy right now and you always tell me "I love you eeeeven so much. I love you in the galaxy with dinosaurs."

July 2016

no one else in this world leaves me speechless except you ❤️🌎

October 3, 2016

you are my sun, my moon & all my stars. I love you more than life itself 🌎🌍🌏

October 4, 2016🎈🎉

I still cannot believe you're mine or that we have made it thru all of life's obstacles in the past 3+ years we've been together❤️✨"in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you." Happy 3rd birthday my beautiful baby!!

October 2016

you're the most beautiful work of art I've ever created. you're magic. 💙✨

December 2016

"I hold you mommy" ❤💥 I will carry you even after you outgrow my arms 💫 my heart beats for you my little shadow.

January 2017

oh sweet boy, I love you more than even your wildest dreams could fathom. after all, YOU are the truest love I've ever known. ☀️🌙🌟

April 2017

all the details of you. your perfectly shaped lips, those dimples I dreamt of while I was growing you inside of me, that button nose full of boogies thanks to spring time, your little tongue that speaks "I love you mama" incessantly throughout the day, your strong chin & the chubbiest cheeks. I don't get to just sit and stare at you often enough and when I do, I'm usually captivated by your deep, dark eyes. photos like this I will cherish forever so I can always remember all the details of you that I breathe for. you're the best thing I've done in my life sweet boy. these are the things I want to remember most.

sweet boy, I hope you never let anything take your smile. it brightens my whole world.✨🌎❤️ 

May 2, 2017
the slope of your perfect little button nose is the perfect fit for my lips and waking you up slowly with kisses is my favorite thing ever.

May 2017- Mother's Day

you are the only reason I'm able to celebrate this beautiful day today. no matter how many times I tell you, in how many different ways I tell you, words will forever fall short in trying to express my love for you that is simply out of this world. a love that radiates from my being and has transformed me into the best person I've ever been. your existence gave me all the purpose I was searching for and you ended up being my saving grace. you're the air in my lungs and the smile on my face. you're the sweetness in my heart and the light that sets my soul on fire. those tiny hands on my face and that little curved pinky that I was obsessed with the second you were born are just a few things about you that give me butterflies. you're the love of my life and I can't thank you enough for choosing me to be your mama & for telling me "I love you mama" 30 times a day.💘